And The White Lion Roars

This site is for those who refuse to accept mythology as literal truth, and instead question everything!

Month: August, 2015

Humorous Hyperbole and Late Blooming Thistle

Source: Humorous Hyperbole and Late Blooming Thistle

Humorous Hyperbole and Late Blooming Thistle

And the white lion roars!

I’m kind of riding freestyle today. Since the last post there have been so very many things making the White Lion Roar that I’m having trouble sleeping at night due to coughing. It completely terrifies me what the anthropologists a million years in the future will think of the things they find from this civilization. This is the year 2015, and I discovered last night that there is a new invention called “poopourrit.” I have no idea if that is the correct spelling, but it’s a fragrant oil one sprays on the toilet water so that when one has a bowel movement and flushes, the oil engulfs the poo and drowns out the smell. We are now that afraid of every part of our bodily functions that we can’t wait for air to disseminate the smell of a bowel movement, what is it, about 30 to 45 seconds even in the worst cases. Many are deathly afraid of the smell of sweat, which actually has no odor. But we put chemicals in our arm pits to mask that smell, and perfumes and powders and powerful toothpastes and mouthwashes, ad infinitum. It’s to the point that if a person doesn’t use all that, even if that person is clean, they smell abhorrent to most Americans. But what in the world will those future seekers surmise that we used “poopourrit” for? We know their sentences will start with, “While we can’t know for sure….,” but I’d love to have whatever form the universe sends me back in to have a quick moment of self actualization and a laugh at those silly Americans who wanted to believe that all the world smelled like lavender! Oh, and verbena, of course.

This is the year of the beginning of the 2016 American presidential race, and from the rhetoric on the right I’m also beginning to believe that they may also surmise that, “This seems to be another primitive civilization that practiced human sacrifice. First by dehumanizing “the other,” which in our case is anyone who is different from the Southern white notions of “normal white society,” along with anyone brown or black, non-Christian, non-native (forgive me, First Citizens/Native Americans, for the use of that term.) Clearly the people who hate and wish to kill, or at least institute invisibility for “the other,” forget what their ancestors did to you.

Many thought that Chris Christie would be the big bully who could win in his own state, but no matter how much his sycophants insisted otherwise, he could never win the general American vote. But a marketeer named Donald Trump has out-bullied Governor Christie, and has shot to the top of the angry white American pedestal. He is a graceless, bullying, ignorant human being who has no idea how to see or embrace ALL of the American people. You know, all those pesky “others” who would not vote for him, but will be destroyed by his presidency, should there be one. He so completely reminds me of a character running for president in a Stephen King novel called “The Dead Zone.”  The character named “Stillson” is a horrible, disturbed, murderous barbarian who is running for president. When an attempt is made to assassinate him, he grabs a baby and uses it as a human shield, which ends his ascent to power. Donald Trump is that guy. He would grab anything nearby, innocent and precious to save himself, and he would do it for the publicity. He learned a long, long time ago that there is no such thing as bad publicity, and he exploits it with the grandest of gestures. Most sickening is his repeated, obviously pandering quote, holding up his book from the 1980’s called “The Art of the Deal,” and says it is his “second favorite book.” “What’s my first favorite,” pulling the crowd along, “the bible.” The biblethebiblethebiblethebible. He’s said it all over the country for the crowds, to thunderous applause EVERY TIME. He does not say it in a sincere way-he says it like a street magician getting someone’s money in a shell game. But they buy it. THEY BUY IT!!!!!!! And then when two reporters doing an interview with him ask the question, “Can you tell us your favorite passage,” he says that the question is too personal and he doesn’t want to go there. Please, save us! And save our posterity for those hard working archaeologists and anthropologists who find shards of The United States a million years hence from having to conclude that we are a barbaric people who kill and otherwise destroy each other, starving each others children and sending them back to drug ridden cities from which they barely escaped with their lives, and try to hide the smell of our decaying victims with poopourrit!

Providentially Hindered

And the white lion roars!

Hello dear readers!

Been another “while” since I sat down to mention some things that made me roar, but most of life isn’t really “roar worthy” right now, just ponderable, mild, and amusing. Maybe I’m trying to reserve energy since it is so hot in North Central Texas right now. Though really, it isn’t; we’re just weaker to it. The high so far this summer has only been 106. I’ve lived through some 116’s in my years. But for some reason this summer heat has seemed much more oppressive. One weather person theorized that it’s because we had so much rain in the spring, the ground and local lakes were full and saturated, which has upped the humidity this summer, which makes it more uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the birthday I just had-which one I will not say. But maybe it is making me more sensitive to the heat? Either way, this VERY lazy Sunday, after hosting a party for my gang last night, I’m still weary and bleary eyed, and having a lovely margarita so help me lay back even more and fill me with guilt tomorrow when the laundry isn’t finished.

We’ve all heard that yawning is contagious. But I recently walked past a coworker who yawned and I didn’t feel tempted to yawn. I’d really like to know what that means! Does it mean I have no psychic connection to her? To me that would be a sad statement, but I yawn when my cat yawns, and she and I are not even close. (Stifled chuckle there!)

I’ve heard lots of comedians-some of whom were my good friends and unprofessional comedians, make fun of those car signs that say “Baby on Board.” They joke, asking what that should mean to them; it’s that parent’s choice to take the baby out in the car!!! When I had my grandson in May, I realized that they are warning you, those parents are going to drive more carefully than usual because they are with their child! I don’t have one of those signs, but I do drive more carefully when there is a child in the car. When there isn’t, it’s just me and my music or podcasts, and I can be a little distracted then. So maybe, just maybe, those parents are telling you to go on and pass. They won’t speed up and not let you!

What is wrong with verbena? Why can’t it stand on its own? Have you ever seen a can of room spray that is just verbena? Nope. They always add lime, or lemongrass, or ginger or something to it. I’ve always asked that about lavender too. Unless you shop in higher end stores and can get ‘lavender essential oil” or something like it, people always mess with lovely lavender, adding vanilla or chamomile.  But lavender is such an evocative, sensual fragrance, it can stand on its own. Verbena, on the other hand, I have no idea what it smells like. Why is that?

Speaking of scents, anyone who knows me, or has read much of what I write, knows that I am a great lover of dogs. Upon the death of my uncle last month, Mom brought out a photo of me at 5 months old, she was holding me on her hip, and my uncle held his parent’s puppy, and there I was even then, petting the puppy. In our neighborhood we have rabbits. Lots of rabbits! And my male dog, Leo, who will be two next month, obsesses over them! My female, Abigail, who is seven, has caught birds and rabbits before, so she’s not impressed. She’ll just walk calmly around with me unless one appears and then she’ll get excited. Leo, on the other hand. Is on the hunt the instant we walk outside. To the point that he pulls hard on the leash in order to get closer to fences and shrubs and beneath parked cars where they might be hiding, or he can pick up the scent. My question is this, what evolutionary benefit do rabbits have in sitting there, pretending to be invisible? We all know that dog’s vision is not much stronger than ours, but their scent receptors and thousands of times stronger than a human’s. They may not see the rabbit sitting there, not moving, but they can certainly pick up the scent. When I take the dogs out around 4:15, I leave Leo off leash. There’s no one up, and I’m not risking another torn up, expensive shoulder surgery. He runs everywhere the rabbits might go so fast and hard that he will never catch one; they would definitely hear him coming, but he is completely out of breath from the run when we get home. But here’s the real question to this point: bunnies wiggle their noses. All the time. Why don’t they have more powerful scent receptors, and go hide before the dogs are upon them? Wouldn’t it be a better survival strategy to smell the dogs coming, run and hide before the dogs get there? What are those wiggly noses about if it isn’t to pick up scents in the air?

As always, I mentally note changes in the language, and one I’ve heard quite often at work lately is a new way of saying that something is an emergency. Several people have said to me recently, “I have (or had) an “emergent” situation. They are still saying it’s an emergency that they be seen by a doctor, but to me “emergent” means something arising-like Venus De Milo coming up out of the sea. When did that word come to refer to urgent symptoms of illness?

My last question today is this: Why do so many Americans prefer ignorance? Don’t want to know what’s in the bologna or hot dog. Don’t want to know if a politician cheats on his taxes or has sweetheart deals with dictators or criminals. Don’t want to know if there’s dangerous pollutants in their air and water, or GMOs in their food. I’m not even going to condemn GMO foods out of hand. But what is the problem with knowing? I’ve asked my pro-Monsanto husband this before, “If they really believe that GMOs are safe and desirable, why don’t they want to label them? But Americans are okay with this. Americans are okay with complete ignorance of science, and legislation, and Ag-Gag rules. WHY!!!!!?????? The White Lion  is now ROARING with befuddlement and frustration. Knowledge is always better than ignorance.

But wait; John Gray wrote in 1742, and had published in 1747:

Thought would destroy their paradise.
99 No more; where ignorance is bliss,
100 ‘Tis folly to be wise.
Sorry folks. Your paradise is being destroyed BECAUSE of your choosing ignorance over knowledge. So the lack of knowledge, leading to action is the problem. Not the knowledge itself. Wake up. Get off your dead ass, and do something to save yourselves.