And The White Lion Roars

This site is for those who refuse to accept mythology as literal truth, and instead question everything!

Category: Humor

An Asshole By Any Other Name Still Stinks

And the white lion roars!

On April 6th America was treated to a video of a thirty-nine year old employee of Starbucks screaming at Florida governor, Republican Rick Scott because of his refusal as governor to expand Medicaid, and his cutting of funding to female reproductive clinics. As a result of his actions, the barista, and many other low wage women in Florida are not able to purchase health care insurance through President Obama’s Affordable Care Act, also known as “Obamacare.”

What struck me about this video more than anything else was how many times she called the governor an asshole. When and why did this become our favorite pejorative? I found the  wonderful list above just by looking at a thesaurus site and searching for asshole synonyms. If you ask me, she should have called him a pilgarlic¹. That would have shown him!!!

Of course, his response showed the depth and maturity of the statesman Governor truly is; he made a video attacking her. Keep it classy, Governor. (Sarcasm.)

After I looked at the synonyms for asshole (which I truly expected would bring up anatomical terms) I searched “anus,” for which there are apparently no synonyms other than ‘asshole.’ Then I did a search for lists of pejoratives. This is an adventure that I chose not to undertake since the first lists had over two-hundred pages each. With all these choices of mean things to call each other, can we not be a little more creative? Especially with all the studies that have come out the last two or three years saying that we salty tongued folks tend to be smarter than average…is this the best we can do.

While we are at it, why do we take words that really mean something good and make them mean something bad? Why is ‘tool’ now a bad thing? If homo-sapiens had not learned to use tools we never would have survived, or come to both dominate and destroy the earth. Dick? This nickname for a penis? This is a male body part that is not only useful and necessary for a man, but can also bring great pleasure to a woman. Why is it now a nasty name to call a guy? There are others, but I’ll let go of the use of curses in the U.S.

I don’t really like talking about the 2016 presidential election, it has already been the most disgusting display of idiocy on the republican side that I have ever seen. My problem is that I see so many pluses and minuses for the two remaining democratic candidates that I’m not sure which way to go between Hillary Clinton and Bernie Sanders. In the beginning it was a slam-dunk for me, Bernie Sanders. Secretary Clinton² has much baggage from a few decades in public service, she’s too hawkish and not near as progressive as I. Sanders calls himself a “democratic socialist,” and is always at least a little, but sometimes a great lot, to the left of Secretary Clinton. But as a woman, and a feminist, her record of working to improve the lot of women and girls all over the world is stellar, as is her position on women’s reproductive rights, which is very important to me. But so is income inequality, which I am fairly sure that Bernie can be better trusted to address. I also have an impossible amount of student debt, which Bernie also promises to address. I don’t like Hillary’s hawkishness, but we do have a terrible threat, worldwide, from violent extremists, and her experience as Secretary of State may give her more insight how to deal with this threat.

So you see, this has to be the most consequential election of my lifetime. I never thought any election would matter as much as electing President Obama in 2008. But it isn’t just the presidential election that matters. If democrats don’t take back the senate and lots of state legislatures women will very soon, especially in the “Red” south, need to kiss reproductive choice, health and safety goodbye.

¹ “Pilgarlic” is an archaic word making fun of bald men.

² Hillary Clinton was President Obama’s Secretary of State during his first presidential term, 2009 to 2012,





Is Ignorance Curable?

And the white lion roars!

And the white lion roars!

Well, how about this! It sometimes takes me a month or more to post, and here we have two in one day. This one started out to be a Facebook post to entertain my friends with my ignorance and ineffectuality as a pioneer woman. My husband and I bought our first house at the end of 2013. The builders put sod down in all the front yards, but left the backyard to us. This subdivision was built on an old riverbed, and so is full of rocks, sandy dirt, and it grows native weeds gloriously. My husband and I have, not fought, but strongly disagreed about how to take care of this. He used to work for a division of the worst of all ECG’s (my term for evil corporate giants,) and Roundup is his weed remover of choice. He also wants to hire someone to put in a yard and garden. I argue that it would be a great point of pride for us to do the work ourselves. But every time I think I’m going to spend some time doing that I want to cry because it is so overwhelming that I just can’t figure out where to start. Once last year our grandson came for a visit from Illinois, and he and I were playing in the front yard. He kept going to front flower beds, picking up rocks and bringing them to our yard. Kind of like Tom Sawyer, I got the brilliant idea that if he enjoyed picking up rocks…I took him to the backyard and showed him how we could put rocks into the wheelbarrow. He lost interest very quickly. I guess Mark Twain was only half right.

So, at the end of winter I had wonderful hopes for getting this yard/garden started. We had some extra money coming in, we were going to be able to hire someone to put the yard in, and we were going to start the garden, saving money on both food and the chemicals on the produce we buy at the grocery store. I was going to start baking my own bread, making my own ketchup, tomato sauce, mayo, pickles, etc. Big pioneer woman dreams. Now, last year I did plant sunflowers, and it was a huge thrill for me. They were beautiful, and I got thousands of seeds that I need to get planted soon (it is May now, after all!) So began today’s adventure. I had been putting coffee grounds, egg shells, and fruit into a plastic tub with a lid to be used for fertilizing all those delicious, organic vegetables we would be growing. But somehow, this fabulous wet spring we’ve had this year, the lid got blown off the tub and it was full of rainwater. But first, I had bigger things to tackle; I’d found some rocks that are GINORMOUS. So much so that I had a hard time finding the bottom of one of them. But today I finally got there and discovered that the rock, though loosened, was too big to move. So I called a neighbor (hubby’s working) and asked for some muscle. He came over, but since we’ve both had surgically repaired shoulders, and he has a back so bad that he’s permanently on opioids, he wouldn’t help me with the rock. We walked over to that revolting, loathsome, disgusting compost tub full of black water with maggots and who knows what floating in it. He couldn’t move it by himself, nor could the two of us together move it. We stood there trying to figure out what to do. I decided to take the hose and flush the dirty water out of it, then dump it. The neighbor left and I got to work, but before he did he mentioned that with coffee grounds and tea bags in the bucket, the water might never get clear. So I tried the flushing thing for a bit, and he was right, nothing was clarified. So I came inside and got a pot to start dipping the water out, taking every precaution to keep from being touched by any of the grotesqueries away. Needless to say, it smelled like a disgusting, rotting swamp. In short order I got to the bottom of the water and decided to get that famous wheelbarrow, shovel out the actual compost and then finish the job of getting that rot-water out. So, job done, overwhelming feelings winning out-I came back into the house, my hands and legs splattered with that foul smelling water. The house is a mess, by the way. But I only have one question to answer right now. Should I take a nap, or start drinking early?